Funny One Line Jokes And Stand-up Comedy Acts

Jokes are the most widespread form of buffoonery, probably because a joke is self-contained and the easiest device with which to trigger off laughter. Funny one line jokes are great and a bout of helpless laughter is highly prized in the modern world, it’s today’s equivalent of a swig of booze, not curing pain and worry but obscuring the symptoms for a few brief moments.


Funny one line jokes are the nearest thing in life to complete escapism next to the climax of making love.

When one of the fluids is predominated, then a person’s character was dominated by that particular ‘humor’. He would become either over passionate (too much blood), dull and droopy (overdose of phlegm), quick-tempered and irascible (choler flowing too strongly), or gloomy and dejected (a touch too much.

of the melancholy, or black bile). Such a man was said to be in a ‘humor’. Or, if he carried on behaving peculiarly, to be a ‘humorist’.

Helped by the efforts of some industry greats, humor and funny one!AnG6U1J2D-yzaylcmXc7c8XOA2w line jokes in its new meaning took root and became favored light reading amongst Augustan Age Literate Citizens, who were mostly from the rapidly expanding middle-classes. Humor, mostly!AnG6U1J2D-yzaylcmXc7c8XOA2w due to funny one line jokes, long before it had a name, was not the invention of Greek playwrights or patrician Roman poets but of ordinary people and is the oldest of the three divisions of comedy, probably dating back to when the cave man first stood upright in the cave and knocked himself senseless, and the others laughed and told all the others about it. Then came along the funny one line jokes.

How To Improve And Renovate Homes by Jon Caldwell

Basically, home improvements refer to the method of refurbishing, repairing, or making add-ons to one’s home. In this way, homeowners get to change, alter, or modify their homes without having to change the whole house.

Because most homeowners would like to save more money, they usually undergo home improvements that employ the do-it-yourself system wherein they gifts for water lovers just buy the kits and are responsible for doing all the required steps.

Today, there are many commercial establishments that offer home improvements. One of the most well known businesses that are into home improvements is the Lowe’s home improvements.

Here is a list of some facts about Lowe’s home improvements. This will gifts for water lovers give you an overview of the company and probably the main reasons why Lowe’s has continuously been on top of the list in the best home improvements businesses.

Explore your options, make sure you have a list of credible lending institutions to choose from when refinancing. It would do well if you had a list of institutions followed by the pros and cons plus the terms to each lending institution.

Many financial institutions will offer some sort of credit product especially tailored for home buyers and homeowners who seek to remodel. The best place to start looking is your local bank. Not only are they legal, they are also stable, and will prove to be the standard by which you make your financial decisions.

Try exploring the loan plans of the bank you deposit with. They will usually give you better interest rates than other banks. When visiting your bank for this purpose, it will do no harm to seek customer service personnel who can explain to you the various loan products and services their bank offers and the ins and outs of managing such agreements. Good banks will also offer advice on what course of action would be best for such situations, having had much experience with such.

If the water that you just poured slowly seeps into the floor and creates a visible spot, it may already need refinishing touches. You may want to keep it in your to-do list and schedule a time when you can do the refinishing. However, if the water seeps in as quickly as you had poured it, then don’t waste gifts for people who live on the lake more time. Your floor definitely needs refinishing, and soon.

Refinishing your wood flooring would require equipments such as a drum sander. Other equipments may be needed for other more detailed tasks in the finishing process. You need not buy those equipments, though. These equipments are available for rent in your local home shops such as Home Depot. You can rent them on a daily or weekly basis.

Different grit papers are used in the drum sander for different floor types. The lower the grit paper number is, the coarser it is for use on more damaged woods. Once you have chosen the right grit paper, you can now start sanding the wood using the equipment. It is suggested that you do the sanding diagonally on both ways then along the grain.

Neck Pain Causes

Neck pain usually occurs due to activities that necessitate a constant or prolonged movement of the neck’s ligaments, joints, bones, muscles, or tendons. They can give rise to neck joint inflammation, a strain, neck muscle spasms, or a sprain. Stress or strain from extreme concentration frequently leads to hurting, taut muscles of the head, shoulders, and neck. Studies have shown that neck pain acupuncture works to ease the stress off our general neck area. While society is slowly learning to veer away from relying too much on over-the-counter remedies or prescription drugs, alternative forms of medicine are now becoming more popular. There are many ways to treat neck pain. can use at-home remedies,physical therapy or alternative treatments like seeing a chiropractor and acupuncturist.It is important to find a certified professional who can analyze the cause of your neck problem first. For severe acute neck pain resulting from an accident or injury, doctors usually recommend bed rest, a neck brace or collar, and cold treatment (such as an ice pack) for neck pain relief. Head and neck pain, whether, throbbing or stabbing, is known as headache. Sometimes it is not only confined to the head but also includes pain from the neck that is why it was termed as head and neck pain. There are three kinds of headaches: tension headache, migraine and cervigogenic headache. These are categorized as primary headaches. Diagnosis and treatment of neck pain conditions is the second largest sector of the chiropractic profession, bested only by low back pain. In much the same way as other spinal complaints, chronic neck pain has a tendency to be hard to diagnose and treat, making life a real challenge for anyone who can’t find lasting relief. prevent neck pain: 1-Using good posture while walking, sitting, and sleeping. Avoid slouching. 2-Exercise the neck muscles by using stretching exercises geared towards the neck. These can be done right at your desk. 3-It is very important to choose the right office chair for back and neck pain relief and truly productive working hours. 4-Avoid sitting for long periods of time without getting up or changing positions. Cause Neck Pain On another ocassion I found myself on the chiropractor’s table getting an adjustment because I had worked too long, sitting in a strained position, in front of my computer. Another time I discovered that my favorite handbag was the culprit. No longer do I carry a heavy purse on my shoulder. If you are experiencing neck pain, and have visited you medical for examinations, then you need to go ahead to exercise your neck for better and faster results. There are several neck exercises for you to learn and practise, but be careful to avoid mistakes since this can complicate the problem instead. Stress is associated with a myriad of symptoms and conditions to include neck pain, back pain, and sciatica. Stress is also responsible for many other disorders of the mind and the body. Hans Bruno Hugo Seyle (1907-1982) is credited by many with being the first to recognize and document the existence and impact of biological stressors. Neck-pain may also be caused by other problems such as slipped disc, osteoporosis or having brittle bones, scoliosis or having a deformed curve of the spine and very rarely tumors on the spine. Experiencing trauma in the affected area may also result in neck pain which may last for months.

How to get rid of heel pain

The most common cause of chronic heel pain is called Plantar Fasciitis (PF).  This is also the most common condition that presents to my office.

The plantar fascia is a very large ligament that attaches to the heel bone and runs all the way up to the ball of the foot. This ligament is the primary supporter of the foot’s natural arch. It acts like a rubber band that prevents the foot from over-flattening when your body weight is applied during standing, walking, and running. PF is inflammation of the plantar fascia due to small tears within the fascia.

People that are susceptible to PF include: 1) people with recent and/or rapid weight gain and/or people with a high body mass index; 2) people who run and walk for exercise; 3) people with occupations that require a lot of standing and/or walking; and 4) people who wear unsupportive or worn shoes. If your foot has too much weight/impact applied to it from any of the four reasons mentioned above, small tears will occur.

Most of the time, this condition develops slowly without any history of injury. The condition can also develop suddenly as a result of traumatic injury but that is rare. Many people first experience a dull ache that starts in the mid-arch. It has been described as feeling like a stone is in the shoe. As the condition worsens, it may move toward the heel.  Often patients say that it hurts most when walking or standing after periods of rest. In less severe cases, the pain may ease with some walking or running. Over time, this easing of symptoms takes longer and longer to occur and eventually it’s painful all the time.

Most cases of PF can be treated without the need for surgery. When patients initially present to my office with PF, the visit usually focuses on activity modification, shoe wear, and stretching advice. In addition, a medical grade arch support is usually dispensed. If this initial treatment fails, then we may consider a cortico-steroid injection, a night splint, and/or physical therapy. Custom orthotics are also an option. Surgery is a last resort. In my experience, surgery is only needed in about 1 of 50 cases.

Good shoes are a very important part of curing PF. A good shoe is one that combines cushioning and support. Running sneakers are generally the shoes that do this best. A supportive shoe is one that bends only in the toe box. The shoe should also resist an effort to twist from end to end. A cushioned shoe is one that employs some type of shock-absorbing midsole. For more information on shoes, see my previous article titled “What is the right athletic shoe for you?” Someone with PF should ideally wear a good running shoe for all periods of standing and walking until pain has subsided. There are supportive dress shoes but they are much harder to find. Higher end dress shoes have started making their shoes with a removable insole that comes with the shoe. This allows one to remove the stock insoles (which usually are not very supportive) and replace it with a medical grade arch support if needed. At a minimum, you should make sure that your dress shoes have readily removable insoles rather than glued insoles. Supportive dress shoes for women can be even harder to find because, more often than not, form trumps function in women’s shoe wear.

Barefoot walking should be avoided. When at home, if you don’t like to wear shoes when in the house I usually suggest my patients get a supportive pair of sandals. “

Brands that I have endorsed are Birkenstock, Abeo, Spenco, Vionic/Orthaheel, Sole, and Fitflops. A simple pair of slippers, flip flops or crocs Chiropractic will not be supportive enough and they are likely to make the situation worse. An effort should be made to stand and walk less while the heel is still painful.

While PF can be a very tricky condition to treat, following the steps discussed in this article and the advice of your doctor can get you up and running again, pain-free.

Dr. Crispell is a foot and ankle specialist at Riddle Hospital in Media, PA. He is a guest contributor to Sports Doc. 

Read more Sports Doc for Sports Medicine and Fitness.

Published: March 9, 2016 — 4:00 AM EST

| Updated: March 9, 2016 — 4:45 AM EST

3D-printed fossils & rocks could transform geology

Whether they’re fracturing open rocks or scanning little adjustments in topography, rock hounds currently operate in 3 dimensions. However among the most preferred destinations at the Geological Society of The U.S.A.’s yearly conference in Denver last week was a 3D printer spewing out fossils, globes as well as fractured rocks.

The 3D printer belonged to Franek Hasiuk, a rock hound at Iowa State College as well as proprietor of the GeoFabLab, a center for 3D geologic printing. By scanning as well as copying rocks, fossils and also geologic data, Hasiuk intends to transform research as well as teaching.

“People are aesthetic as well as tactile,” Hasiuk informed LiveScience. “When I have something I could keep in my hands,” it makes it a great deal simpler to understand, he accordinged to. [How 3D Printers Work (Infographic)]

Visualizing rocks, in area

A previous petroleum rock hound, Hasiuk sees 3D printing as a new way to imagine pore areas in rocks the little gaps where oil, gas and also fluids hide. He invested concerning $3,000 of his startup money (unlimited study funds colleges offer to newly hired professors) to purchase the 3D printer this year, and also concerning $1,400 on a 3D scanner that checks and digitizes objects.


“In the oil sector, CT scanning of geologic materials is a truly amazing technology to examine permeable rocks,” Hasiuk claimed. “Much like obtaining a CT check of your head allows you see inside, CT scanning allows you see inside rocks without damaging them. I believed, ‘Well, it’s 3D data, so why don’t I try to publish it?'”

Hasiuk prepares to publish different variations of the exact same rock samples, such as one with fractures as well as one without fractures. Fractures could obstruct liquids moving through pores as well as, inevitably, up a well. “It’s a method to experiment with pore area. Each model you publish out would certainly be a theory,” he stated.

The MakerBot Replicator 2X printer Hasiuk has cannot reproduce the tiniest tiny holes in the rocks where most oil as well as gas hide, yet Hasiuk sees it as an excellent way to function out the kinks in the modern technology. (Another division on school has a $170,000 3D printer, and can get the high-resolution Hasiuk demands.) “We’ll kick the tires on my printer,” he accordinged to.

Breakable fossils

Many trainers see the benefit of 3D printing breakable fossils and training materials for geology classes.

For example, thousands of tiny, black trilobites are squirreled away in training collections at universities around the country. But these fossil arthropods, very early ancestors of insects and also lobsters, had a few of the most incredible coverings in the early oceans. From long, crinkling spikes to towering eyestalks, trilobites established shield much past the pill-bug-resembling look most pupils see.

Scanning as well as printing uncommon fossils can open the world’s collections to students and also amateur fanatics, without risking damage to the originals.

“Just believe [just how neat it would certainly be] if every laboratory student got a type sampling,” claimed Hasiuk, referring to the name for a fossil or microorganism where a variety is described. [Video: Dinosaur Diggers Share 3D-Printed Fossils]

Hasiuk has actually additionally printed the 7 crystal systems (a classification scheme for minerals) for Iowa State. The crystal models, carved from wood, are costly yet required for teaching mineralogy to rock hounds.

“In the training capillary, my goal is to make versions of everything a geology division would have to teach,” Hasiuk claimed. “In the future, it doesn’t need to be, ‘All right, pertained to my lab and look at the models.’ You could visit the duplicate shop and have them published.”

3D reasoning

Three-dimensional printing might also aid geology students learn how to think in 3D. Several introductory geology courses feature a lab session where trainees “attach the dots” in between diving below ground rock layers and also maps of the resulting surface patterns. But drawing psychological lines between exactly what exists beneath and the 2D pattern made by the rock layers, either on a geologic or topographic map, is challenging for numerous students.

To solve this trouble, Hasiuk printed a 3D topographic model of Ames, Iowa showcasing the college’s football arena in order to help pupils better envision the link in between topography on a map and also topography in the genuine world.

“I thought, ‘Why do not we publish out topography that trainees would truly recognize?'” Hasiuk said. “I really hope that, in the future, every school can select a location that pupils would acknowledge, attract a box around it and print it.”

Such 3D topography is likewise a boon for students with vision impairment. At the State College of New York at Geneseo, instructional assistance professional Nancy Mahlen 3D-printed a topographic Planet globe for one of her pupils.

“For my student that is blind, to be able to feel the continents that’s crucial,” Mahlen informed LiveScience.

Copyright 2013 LiveScience, a TechMediaNetwork business.

All rights booked. This product could not be published, broadcast, revised or redistributed.

Crossfit injuries a cash cow for chiropractors and physical therapists

Mimms was allegedly hospitalized for a week, urinated blood, suffered rhabdomyolysis and swollen legs after River of Life TC being poorly supervised during his workout by a gym employee who was not certified.

“Mimms testified that rhabdo was diagnosed after his 2005 workout, which consisted of 90 repetitions of lower-body exercises. He said he was never told to rest, stop for water or slow down by a ruthless employee who oversaw the routine but was not a certified trainer.”

Mimms, now 34, said he’s permanently disabled as a result. responded to the lawsuit by sarcastically renaming the WOD (Workout of the Day) that injured Mimms the “Makimba” and recategorizing it as a children’s workout.

CrossFit headquarters has typically reacted to the injury issue by saying critics are suggesting that people should lie on the couch, not exercise, and get fat (as if the only alternative to CrossFit is couch-surfing). Or they take aim at critics through petty verbal attacks and lame threats on Twitter.

Meanwhile, CrossFit founder Greg Glassman has River Of Life Chiropractic And Wellness openly boasted that River Of Life Chiropractic And Wellness WODs “are designed to exceed the capacities of the worlds fittest athletes.” He admitted the rigorous workouts can cause serious injury or even death.

“If you find the notion of falling off the rings and breaking your neck so foreign to you, then we don’t want you in our ranks,” Glassman told the NY Times. “[CrossFit] can kill you. I’ve always been completely honest about that.”

So Smart, It’s GENIUS – Oral-B Unveils the World’s First Electric Toothbrush that Sees What You Don’t

CINCINNATI–(BUSINESS WIRE)–Today at the GSMA Mobile World Congress (MWC) 2016 in Barcelona, Oral-B unveiled its latest innovation that sets a new oral care standard: Oral-B GENIUS, the first of its kind and Oral-Bs most intelligent brushing system available to-date. The new Oral-B GENIUS features groundbreaking Position Detection Technology that combines cutting-edge motion sensor technology located in the brush, and video recognition using the smartphones camera, to track areas being brushed so that no zone is missed. Users receive instant feedback on the brushing of each zone of the mouth via the Oral-B App 4.1, including guidance on pressure applied and brushing duration. These features combined with the Oral-B Oscillating-Rotating-Pulsating Technology and the unique round brush head helps users improve their oral health.

Oral-B GENIUS Helps Users Brush like Their Dentist Recommends

Patients are not brushing their teeth correctly, even though they think they are; they brush too hard, do not brush long enough, and miss zones of the mouth. This new brushing system helps us coach patients to brush properly, and improve these three main areas of patient brushing behaviors that affect their oral health, said Dr. Jose Nart, DDS. The Oral-B GENIUS and App take digital guidance to the next level by bringing awareness to whats actually happening each time users brush and giving them real-time guidance to improve every brushing session. Now our patients can continue whats started in the dental office at home a professionally guided brushing routine.

Healthy Teeth Status through Targeted Digital Guidance

Over time, brushing incorrectly can result in oral health issues such as tooth decay and even early tooth loss. Using Oral-B GENIUS, users are able to actively monitor their brushing routine via the Oral-B App 4.1. This real time feedback reduces guesswork, enabling users to brush for the dental professional-recommended two minutes, not apply too much pressure while brushing and thanks to the new revolutionary Position Detection never miss those commonly missed zones.

Its About Brushing for the Right Length, Not Pressing Too Hard, and Never Missing a Zone

Oral-B GENIUS includes best-in-class product features, making it the most intelligent brushing system available that helps consumers smarten their daily brushing routines:

Position Detection Technology: Senses and recognizes areas of the mouth users are cleaning via sensors built into the brush in combination with the smartphone. Oral-B research shows up to 80% of people spent insufficient timebrushing in at least one zone in their mouth and 60% of people either didnt brush their back molars at all, or spent insufficient time brushing them1. Paired with the Oral-B App 4.1, the Position-Detection Technology in Oral-B GENIUS tracks brush position, and shows the user how to brush all zones in the mouth equally and evenly. Oscillating-Rotating-Pulsating Technology: Oral-B proprietary technology cleans tooth by tooth and its round brush head reaches areas that are often difficult to reach, providing a superior cleaning every session compared to a regular manual toothbrush. Triple Pressure Sensor Technology: Excessive pressure during brushing is one of the key reasons for gum tissue abrasions. Some manual users apply brushing forces two times the recommended pressure, which can be harmful to the gums.

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5 signs that your computer is infected

Oh, the not-so-humble computer virus. For decades, it’s been making computer users miserable.

It’s like the common cold. You’d think someone would have cured both by now. Unfortunately, it looks like computer viruses are just getting stronger and smarter.

In the early days, a virus would delete your files and spread to other computers. It was annoying, but the effects were easy to detect and contain.

Today, in addition to traditional viruses, there are Trojans, worms, ransomware, spyware, adware and plenty of other “wares.” The computer industry term for all this is “malware.”

Even state-of-the-art computer security can’t always keep up with new threats. Of course, everyone should still be running up-to-date security programs. Fortunately, there are excellent free anti-virus, spyware and firewall programs. Click here to see my top free. software picks.


Every type of malware does something a little differently. You might not even recognize that your computer is infected. To help you out, here are five signs you can look for.

Pop-up ads

Running into pop-up ads while surfing the Web used to be par for the course. Thanks to pop-up blocking now standard in modern browsers, these annoyances aren’t common.

Still seeing pop-ups online from multiple sites? It could be a badly-configured browser.

Seeing pop-ups when your browser isn’t even open? It’s usually adware, spyware or scareware.

You can usually tell it’s the last one if the pop up says “a virus was detected.” It will offer you a paid program to remove the virus. Of course, you’ll just be downloading even more malware.

Kim Komando hosts the nation’s largest talk radio show about consumer electronics, computers and the Internet. To get the podcast, watch the show or find the station nearest you, visit: To subscribe to Kim’s free email newsletters, sign-up at:

Constant Headaches and Neck Pain

Frequent or constant headaches accompanied by neck pain, often indicate some problems related to neck muscles. It is more commonly observed in people who fail to maintain a correct body posture at their workplaces. An incorrect body posture along with stress and tension has been found to culminate into severe headache and neck pain in such individuals. However, in many instances, headaches that originate from neck pain can be an indicator of some other underlying disorders and problems, as well. Here is a brief discussion about some of the major causes of headaches and neck pain, as well as a few tips for their prevention.

Chronic Headache and Pain in the Neck


As has been mentioned already, a poor body posture can result in neck pain, which in turn can cause headaches as well. This is particularly true for the individuals whose profession requires them to sit for long hours in one position, especially in front of the computer. Wrong body posture can put strain on the muscles at the back of the neck, through which, the occipital nerve passes. Strain and pressure on this nerve can be a major cause of headache that are usually accompanied by neck pain. Similarly, constantly watching television or the computer screen for a long time can strain the eye muscles and cause pain in the eyes and head.

Along with posture, stress or tension can be an important factor causing headaches. Stress is known as one of the leading causes responsible for giving rise to a number of health problems, including headaches. In addition to headaches, it can also cause neck pain and stiffness.